It touches so many of us
Traumas may vary but I’ve found that the effects often don’t. I have also come to find that we all tend to search for the same things in our darkest moments and I take comfort in that.
For the last few years, I have been facing my childhood of sexual abuse head on, which has not been an easy feat: I often transverse between confidence and clarity, and emotional chaos and confusion.
It makes for quite the emotional roller coaster ride as I learn to navigate and manage PTSD.
As I child, it was deep-seated into me not to trust my family or my feelings. I lived my childhood in fear of what might happen next. I grew up believing it was my fault. Maybe if I had just been a better kid, or if I had just been good enough. I realized early on I had little control over what was happening and so, I disconnected. That is what I could control.
I grew up believing the way I was treated and the way I felt was what I deserved; it was all I had ever known, why would I think any differently?
It is hard work undoing these hardwired negative thought processes. They are entrenched in my subconscious responses and reactions both physical and emotional.
Positive Statements Matter
Not just the general, happy-go-lucky feel good stuff though, I am talking about intentional positive statements. The things we say to help bring us back into the present.
How we talk to ourselves matters.
For the average person, this stuff will seem obvious but for some of us, well sometimes we need a very clear and simple reminder – in bold.
Here are 14 positive affirmations that I use when I’m having a hard time trudging through the dark and painful chaos of my past.
#1 I am Safe
#2 “It is not my fault”
#3 “I am in control of my thoughts, my words, and my life”
#4 “I deserve to receive all the love and support I need”
#5 I am Enough
#6 “My courage is stronger than my fear”
#7 “I am in control”
#8 “I trust my ability to make the right decisions for me”
#9 I am Worthy of Respect
#10 “I am becoming a better version of myself one day at a time”
#11 “I have the ability to create the life I desire”
#12 “I do not allow my past to control my future”
#13 I Radiate Courage
And one of the most important…
#14 “I am not alone”
Pain can be silencing, shame can be isolating – but it isn’t our shame. We all deserve to heal.
I hope that at least a couple of this affirmations helped you just now. I hope some of them stick and help you on days when things get tough.
If nothing else – please know you are not alone.
Closing Comments
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If only these kinds of beliefs could be hard-wired in the moment we realize them to be true intellectually! Parts of me buy into healthy ways to view the world, while the parts of me that took on the trauma directly have an entirely different idea of how things go. I think returning to these truths again and again, and proving to myself that they are correct is probably the only way to get them to become my default way of seeing the world.
I love that you highlighted “I am not alone.” This is a weird example, but it made me think of fireworks this year, which my neighborhood celebrates to the max. The constant explosions for weeks on end significantly escalate my issues. I’m on the Nextdoor app, and was so comforted by all the other people who were also freaking out and sharing things like “won’t someone think of the pets!” It genuinely helped me soothe myself because I felt a part of a community of quiet-seekers who were with me during each thunderous bang!
I am so with you. There are times when I see happy memes on social media and I am immediately cynical and see the negative side of NOT being able to “move past the negative” or “choosing to be happy”. Sometimes I have a bad day and all I can do is recognize that and not judge myself, and guess what – I won’t be getting over my child abuse. We don’t get over it, we learn to live with it.
Still I am sure all those people posting happy stuff meant well. lol 🙂
That’s what I have these affirmations, they are simple, direct, and I use them.
<3 I am so proud of you for making this beyond difficult journey. I wish you peace.
I’ve just found your blog for the first time and want to thank you.
Hello there. I just found your blog, and this post in particular, and I just want to say thank you so much. I have complex PTSD too, and I am in therapy. I had a flashback just now and I did my grounding and deep breathing, and then I came online to find happy pictures lol to calm me and leave me with good thoughts before I go to bed. That is how I found your blog! I came across this post in particular. And I just want to say thank you so much for putting this out there, because it really helped me tonight!
🕊️
I am so glad you found comfort in this post. I am sorry you are hurting, but am glad to meet you. 😊 It’s quite the uphill battle we are undertaking, and with immense amounts of emotional weight. Sending you love and support as you journey to healing. 💜💚
Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate them. I am keeping you in my thoughts and sending blessings your way. I do really love your blog and find it helpful. Yes, it is indeed an uphill battle. Many times I cannot find the words to express what I’m going through to loved ones (you probably have experienced this, too) ~ it’s very frustrating. But I do have good people in my life now who love and support me. And they are learning with me. It’s comforting to know that other people out there understand and relate. I’m glad to meet you, too. 💖
P.S. Apologies for my incredibly late reply.