Flashbacks

Flashbacks.

Unexpected, uninvited.

They take over my mind,

and my body.

They touch the very core of my being,

where emotion is so raw,

and rob me of precious moments

in the present.

Images flash in my mind

pulling me back in time,

my senses alert,

I feel it all …

fear;

shame;

helplessness;

how do I escape?

So clearly, I can see him,

I hear his voice

“It’s ok, you are safe with me”.

I smell his breath,

I can still feel his touch.

I’m frozen,

eyes clenched shut

my screams echoing in my head

“Please Stop. I don’t want to do this”

But I say nothing and do as I am told.

I’m just a child

6, maybe 7.

I withdraw into myself,

deep into my own mind,

where I am safe,

and sheltered by the walls of my own will to survive.

And I stay where it is safe, as long as I have to.

Then suddenly,

I see the world moving around me.

I feel the haze lifting

and life is coming back into focus.

I feel the chair I am in,

and my feet touching the floor.

I look at the clock,

how much time has passed?

I look at the people around me,

did they notice I left for awhile?

I look at my hands,

clenched tightly in my lap

breathe in deep

and let it out slowly.

I close my eyes for a moment

and I whisper to myself

“I am safe”.

 

~~~~~

Thank you for reading, if you enjoyed this post don’t forget to click like, and then follow my blog.

Please stop by and check out the essential oils that I use for coping and the books that I reference for clarity and understanding as I learn to live with PTSD.

Do you have a hobby? I make homemade cards as part of my self care routine.

If music plays a big role in coping for you, like it does for me, try this 30-day free trial and enjoy all the music you desire at your finger tips.

Products are linked to purchase for your convenience; and your support through my affiliate links (at no additional costs to you) help me maintain this blog and continue sharing my journey to heal.

Love & Support 💜💚