What my childhood could have been,
should have been,
but was not.
Family vacations,
weekend bar-b-ques,
with photo albums full
of happy memories,
these things did not exist.
Sadness,
loss,
grief,
shame,
I have plenty.
Glorious.
Oh, how it could have been,
how it should have been …
Instead,
nightmares,
silence,
fear,
betrayal,
loneliness,
silent cries into the darkness.
Glorious,
it was not.
Not my childhood,
not my memories.
Still,
I long for
Glorious.
I strive for
Glorious.
For the life, I live now,
and will live from this point forward.
It was not glorious then,
but it can be now
I have a choice.
I choose
Glorious.
~~~~~
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Hello, Shanon. You have chosen a difficult journey. Your post, “Glorious,” invites to share in your pain. I don’t remember if I was abused as a child, but I have lived with mental illness for 41 years. There was trauma along the way. I was sexually abused when I left the safety of my home in a confused state, wandering through the highway. It is so difficult to write or speak about it. But you are a prolific writer, and I am touched by your post. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind words. This journey is definitely not for the faint of heart. I want to share so that other survivors know they aren’t alone, and so loved ones of survivors know what we deal with daily. 🙂
Yes, make it so.