Her betrayal,
encompasses my mind,
takes me back in time,
alerts my defenses,
and sends the walls up around myself.
Constant monologues run through my head,
all the words,
the hurt,
spilling out of me effortlessly.
Moral justice.
How could she?
She will learn her lesson.
Instead I am pleasant,
professional,
silent.
Now is not the time.
At night,
the house dark,
quiet,
no distraction;
thoughts run wild,
playing into wakeful dreams,
of fitful sleep.
Blankets tangled,
restrictive.
Too hot.
Too cold.
The alarm finally sounds.
Did I sleep?
I feel alert and able,
but exhausted.
Her betrayal, again.
Why do I allow it so much energy?
Because she was a friend.
Years invested.
Maybe one more chance?
But trust.
No.
She has shown herself.
And I don’t have to accept it.
Boundaries.
What a strange feeling.
Foreign;
scary;
uncomfortable.
But okay, allowed, necessary;
Important.
And so the process plays out,
as I filter through emotions,
And let go.
I do not have to be the teacher,
for the lessons she must learn.
I need only learn my own.
~~~~~
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