I am Picking Myself Back Up Today

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Photo by Simon Migai

β€œIf your heart is broken, make art with the pieces.”

― Shane Koyczan

Today I plan to take charge of my day rather than allowing it to take charge of me. The last week has been full of intense stress, triggering emotional situations, and a lot of facing my inner child in order to better recognize when I need to comfort her so she doesn’t rage against everything in my present life. It has left me in a pretty dark and lonely place which is taking a lot of mental strength to pull myself out of.

Last night I had therapy; we had a plan from the week prior to use EMDR to address the issues I have been having with my oldest so I went in ready to do to the work. If only it were that easy. Avoidance, sensory shut down, withdrawal and a completely blank mind – that’s all that I got. That is how immensely my home situation is affecting me and triggering responses; I want my brain to do one thing and it literally was like “yeah right lady, I’m not going anywhere near those issues.”

I feel pretty helpless when my brain and body are on separate pages from me, I often look at my therapist with wide eyes, pleading for insight into how to even begin to fix this.

Self-care, and patience. Meditation, yoga, writing, hobbies, coping techniques – anything to keep me actively engaged and connected. That is all I can do – well that and continue to go after this issue in therapy until my mind is ready to face it.

One thing this did make me realize is that EMDR is way more than the majority of the information online so I have begun working on a small series to go into more depth about what EMDR is really like for a trauma survivor. Not just the technique, but how the process actually feels. I plan to work on it over the weekend and publish it next week.

Today, I am taking my youngest to the library for book time, to rent some new movies, and so she can play with the other children. Then we are heading out for lunch at a friend’s house; just what my exhausted spirit needs right now.

Today, I am going to work on being present. I feel like this is the best way to manage my tendency towards avoidance.

One day longer, one day stronger (even though it sure doesn’t feel that way all the time).

Have a good day friend, wishing you peace if you are struggling.

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photo by pixabay

~~~~~

Thank you for reading, if you enjoyed this post don’t forget to click like, and then follow my blog.

Please stop by and check out the essential oils that I use for coping and the books that I reference for clarity and understanding as I learn to live with PTSD.

Do you have a hobby? I make homemade cards as part of my self-care routine.

If music plays a big role in coping for you, like it does for me,try this 30-day free trial and enjoy all the music you desire at your fingertips.

Products are linked to purchase for your convenience, and your support through my affiliate links (at no additional costs to you) help me maintain this blog and continue sharing my journey to healing.

Love & Support πŸ’œπŸ’š

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