Things that Bring Me Strength

I don’t know about you – but I know that sometimes I can get so caught up in my grief that it becomes my only focus regarding my trauma healing.  

It is so easy to get swept away in the waves and forget about the good things in life, the experiences and emotions of the present. 

This has been one of my bigger challenges as I work through my healing – too often I allow myself to be pulled mentally into the past, it takes concerted effort on my part to stay present and aware of the good in my life. 

I hear practice makes perfect – so I have that to look forward to. 

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As part of the writing challenge that I am doing, I have reflected on five blessings in my life – here they are: 

I have a family that understands my trauma 

For decades I lived in a self-created bubble of isolation. Within that bubble I was able to control my interactions with the world and therefore, ward off any perceived dangers. Since the abuse I had lived through as a child all happened at the hands of family (my father’s side) I naturally shut out ALL family in adulthood which included my sister and my mother’s side of my family.  

How grateful I am that after over 20 years, none of them have judged a single part of my actions all these years. I have been met with understanding, willingness to learn about my mental health, and love. This has been paramount in my healing. 

My Children 

Easy answer, I know. But they must be mentioned. My children are 100% my world. I learn for them every single day; they make my life better. They help me stay present, and they remind me daily how important a role I play in their lives. Something I cherish very much.

I have a life that is safe for my healing 

My life is good. My husband, family, and friends know my history and they have all learned in their own ways how they can help me as I heal. I also have amazing counselor who has worked with me tirelessly as I learn what I am experiencing and why. All of this creating for me something I have never had, a safe place to heal.  

My creativity gives my pain purpose 

Carrying the grief of a childhood like mine takes quite a bit of effort. Learning how to manage the changes in my brain and how I respond to stressful stimuli has been challenging. My writing however, it gives my pain a purpose. My writing gives me a platform to process in an organized and focused way while allowing me to create connections to people who understand. When those connections are made and I find out that my writing resonates with someone – all the pain becomes a little bit more bearable.

I have the strength to heal 

I know that not everyone has the strength to face their realities and so they continue their life in dangerous cycles of repetitive abuse with their own children, grandchildren, and so on. I know there are people who will never be able to take on the work necessary to heal their pain and so they will struggle with their mental illness their entire lives. I know a couple of these people personally.  

As I move through my own healing, it hurts to know how much they must truly be suffering. However, I am both aware and grateful to my own inner strength, personal responsibility, and ability to face my demons, which allows me to process my pain, and change my thoughts and behavior. My trauma does not define me.

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There you have it – 5 blessings in my life. It felt good to think deeply on these things; it helps keep me present, and focused. Exactly what my mind needs as it heals.  

What are you grateful for? 

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Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post – I plan to share 5 of my favorite movies and why! 

Check out other posts from this writing challenge here. 

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