Haven’t had a lot energy the last couple days to get much of anything done. Not around the house, not here on the site.
For a couple reasons really. The biggest is that in true fashion, I ran at this thing (my site) full steam the last few weeks as a means of something to control in the uncertainty of life right now. Plus, I didn’t pay much attention to my work/life balance. Add to that managing trauma triggers in the middle of this pandemic and well –
I just got tired.
Not that I am negating all the awesomeness of those many days that I was focused, or the ways that I have managed some of my triggers over the last 8 weeks – it’s just that for every few days of amazing, I still need a day or two of mental rest.
I imagine I’ll continue to get better at proper balance so I don’t wipe myself out like I have, but I also think “me days” aren’t necessarily something I should aspire to get rid of either.
The second thing that has sapped me of energy are the trauma triggers caused by the pandemic and the symptoms that manifest – but that is post for another day – I still don’t have the energy to go there.
A Different Angle
Still, I have tried to change it up a little bit to get through this and it seems to be working. Yesterday I was pretty exhausted mentally, and thus physically, so hubby and I binged some old movies from our childhood and young adult lives. I managed a decent dinner too. Other than that, I didn’t do much else.
Today however, I made myself sleep in rather than getting up as soon as my anxiety screams in my ears. Then after coffee, showers, and breakfast me and the family dawned our face masks to run some essential errands. We also made a stop at the outdoor nursery for some new things for the yard. One thing this pandemic has given me, is time.
For years, I have barley maintained my yard, always looking for perennials that I can plant and then not look back. Today however, I bought new soil, wood chips, flowerpots, and annuals. We also picked up a bird bath. It was nice to see nearly everyone with masks on (made my anxiety a little better) and the outdoor space gave room for distance.
Then I came home and got my hands all dirty with my 5-year-old (who picked her own flowerpot and flowers).
Tonight, is my telehealth appointment with my counselor (so I have some time to process the weeks events) followed by dinner and another 80’s movie with my hubby.
I’ll make it through this funk. I always do. This time, a little bit faster than the last.
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“…for every few days of amazing, I still need a day or two of mental rest.” — right! Same here.