I don’t have much mental energy after the last 36 hours of events and had thought about taking a rest from writing today, then I saw this.
For a few moments, it made me angry.
It resonated the same way “just be positive” memes made me feel during the early stages of my healing. Angry, misunderstood, and not quite normal. I viewed it as shallow, with little understanding of what it truly means to live with childhood trauma weighing on the soul.
My abuse and the lifelong affects aren’t a “chapter” in my life. My healing process doesn’t just end once the paragraph is complete.
It really hit a button, this meme. Then I took a breath.
Let the Chapters Flow
I reminded myself I’m a little short fused emotionally and to be gentle with myself. I feel raw, on edge, and anxious and that is okay; I’m actively working to manage it. Equip with a better understanding of my anger now, I reread the quote.
That’s when I realized how the chapters flow.
I realized I am the author.
Each storm I weather is a chapter. Each day of presence and connection is a chapter. A single moment can be a chapter. With this knowledge, I must remember when things aren’t going so great I get to keep writing and turn the page soon.
It also made me realize how important each chapter in life is because they can be so short – and we don’t get to go back and rewrite it.
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