The Darkness

There is a dark hole 
at the center of my core. 
Its pull magnetic, 

A hole burned into my essence 
by abusive and violent hands, 
words of belittlement, 
and betrayals unimaginable. 
A hole so deep 
the bottom is an illusion, 
filled with sadness,  
with rage,  
and with the stolen innocence of a young girl. 

A hole echoing with 
the shame, 
and self-hatred of a lost child. 

A continuously running reel of unspeakable grief,
and unthinkable loss. 
Like reflections in a mirror 
it flashes memories in my mind. 
It interrupts my sleep, 
steals moments from my life, 
and turns my thoughts against me. 

It makes me feel guilty  
for touching happiness. 
It moves, this hole.  
It follows me through my day,  
looking for just the right moment to open up 
and swallow me whole. 

It’s no wonder my life 
has been lived on high alert. 
What happens if I fall in? 

written by Shanon


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