Sometimes the sadness
is so thick in my lungs,
so visceral through my body.
How much loss can one heart carry?
At what point will it finally shatter
into so many pieces
they never fit back together?
How much rejection can one soul bear
before it is scarred forever?
Imprinted with grief,
unable to recharge.
It feels like it will always be a part of me.
In my very makeup –
the biological core of who I am.
I was destined to carry the burden of grief.
I was born through loss,
as my mother gave her last breath
So I could have my first.
I carry the weight of a child’s
lost hopes and dreams.
My innocence a pawn in the desires
of one man.
A man who should have been safe.
Within my very being,
I carry in my arms a lost child
still searching for love,
and for protection.
A child weighed down by
and so much rage.
Some days I am surprised the heaviness doesn’t crush me.
written by Shanon
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