Sometimes the sadness
is so thick in my lungs,
so visceral through my body.
How much loss can one heart carry?
At what point will it finally shatter
into so many pieces
they never fit back together?
How much rejection can one soul bear
before it is scarred forever?
Imprinted with grief,
beaten down,
unable to recharge.
It feels like it will always be a part of me.
In my very makeup –
the biological core of who I am.
I was destined to carry the burden of grief.
I was born through loss,
as my mother gave her last breath
So I could have my first.
I carry the weight of a child’s
lost hopes and dreams.
My innocence a pawn in the desires
of one man.
A man who should have been safe.
Within my very being,
I carry in my arms a lost child
still searching for love,
for comfort,
and for protection.
A child weighed down by
shame,
self-loathing,
and so much rage.
Some days I am surprised the heaviness doesn’t crush me.
written by Shanon
*****
Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?
Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need.
These small groups meet on alternating Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.
You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.
*****
I am a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. I am also a survivor with years committed to my own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, I have a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.
I specialize in helping survivors like you make connections between real time experiences and past trauma wounds, identify and communicate boundaries, create self-care plans that work, navigate big emotions and trauma responses, reparent your inner child, and embody your own self-worth through the healing process with confidence and personal empowerment.
These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.