Grappling with Acceptance

What a morning.
Well really, what a week.
Actually – it’s only been a couple days.

This morning I worked on a new piece,
I plan to submit it to the Emerging Blog Series
on Mental Health @ Home.

It took me three tries,
numerous breaks,
and 7 hours.
It’s not even that deep a piece,
necessarily.
But it is a glimpse at the whole of my story.
And that is a lot to sit with at one time.

I do believe those first two tries are a pretty good outline
for my memoir.

It’s this grappling with acceptance
that is really throwing me off.
It has my energy flow all out of whack.

I refuse to turn away from it,
there is so much to feel, to think, and to process.
My exhaustion is so deep.

I napped so hard the other day
It felt like a reset
and I lost track of a whole 24 hours
momentarily.

Acceptance isn’t always rainbows and sunshine
as you embrace new beginnings.
It’s hard work,
it can be so uncomfortable.

Sometimes it just fucking hurts.

That’s pretty much where this ends for today.



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