This morning for the first time, ever – I went LIVE on Instagram in an interview with Bachpan-Save The Innocence to talk about my childhood sexual abuse and trauma.
Right Into the Deep End
I went from months of “wanting” to get in from of the camera – to jumping in with both feet. This is as unedited and raw as it can get – just me, Rahul, and all of you.
As I experienced this interview it felt easy, natural, even comfortable to be sitting there talking about this. I was happy to share my story, my perspectives, and my ideas. I appreciated the support I was receiving, the opportunity to share, and I was happy to answer questions. Over all, it was amazing experience that I will always remember.
Then I watched it back.
The After
That’s when I realized how vulnerable I was during this interview.
I felt the weight of what I shared, and I even critiqued myself as I saw the affects of my trauma on my thought process and memory in real-time, as I worked through it.
The anxiety I feel right now is super real, but this still needs to be shared.
My Plans for Self-Care
Due to the intense emotions this experiences has invoked in me, I told my husband we need to plan a family outing today. I need to be out of the house, focused on things that bring me joy as I move through the things I am feeling so they don’t overwhelm me and cause me to disconnect.
I’ll let you all know what we end up doing, later.
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Closing Comments
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You did an absolutely amazing job! xo
Thank you so much. I saw you on there, it means so much to have the support and encouragement. 💜🙏
The family and I are heading out to a sunflower farm now for peaceful together 🌻
Sounds lovely! 💕
Ahhh well done 👏🏼
Thank you 🙏🏻 😊
You really were vulnerable during the call! I noticed how calm you were, considering the things that you were talking about. It actually did make me think “does she realise how vulnerable she’s being?” lol.
“so they don’t overwhelm me and cause me to disconnect.”
This is what I am fighting right now. I came on here to try to read to reconnect myself. My form of ‘disconnection’ is obsessive awareness of body things like blinking, and on the process of stopping that obsession. Heightened awareness of my body and mind. Sigh!