Sometimes other people say it better:
“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.”Gerard Way
I really resonate with this quote. I even have the phoenix tattooed on me in relation to this context.
As a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse, I grew up as a people pleaser. Quiet, accommodating, and dependable even when I was taken advantage of.
That stayed with me well into my adulthood.
As I began to heal, I realized this behavior has made me feel very little self-worth in my life. My need to be what others wanted destroyed any value I felt I had to offer, and it broke my trust in myself.
I made a choice a few years ago to heal. Healing means living as my true self, in control of the things in my past and their affects on my life.
It’s taken a lot of work to create and enforce boundaries; it has taken a lot of work to explore my true self, to believe in my own value and learn to trust myself again, and the work isn’t over.
But – it has been unbelievably rewarding along the way. I see myself now and I am learning what it means to love myself and to be myself authentically.
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