The Playback

I don’t think I actually understood
just how it would affect me.

Sharing my story.

I did it without reservation.
I knew deep down how important it is
for others to hear,
they need to know they aren’t alone.

It was so raw,
unedited.
I spoke freely,
I felt it –
I wanted to show the reality of trauma.

I am the face of C-PTSD.

Once done,
near immediately – I felt it all.
Fear,
anxiety,
vulnerability,
self-doubt.

Wow, it hit like a freight train.

It got worse after I watched myself back,
and listened to myself talk
about the horrors of my youth.

It’s been two days.
Sleep has been filled with dreams,
my body feels off,
and I have got some new emotions to grapple with.

It didn’t even dawn on me,
that other than counseling and court,
this was the first time I have truly spoken my story
out loud,
with intention,
to provide comfort and hope for others.

And I heard how much I needed that comfort and hope myself,
as my story played back for me to hear.

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Closing Comments

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