Is this what acceptance is?
Or am I avoiding it all together?
I think I have this figured out.
Am I really letting it go?
Or just ignoring is completely?
I think I’m moving through it.
Emotions are so new to me,
feeling all this stuff so foreign.
But I know that I am learning.
As I charter unknown territory,
I questions myself so much.
I am just trying to figure out who I am.
I never thought my trust issues
would be so internal –
Still, I know that I am healing myself.
Trust issues tend to be at the top of the list for trauma survivors when it comes to their relationships with others. I never realized how big my trust issues were until I realized I equated trust with safety.
Turns out trust can be an internal issue too. After a childhood of abuse, it is second nature for the child, and eventually the adult – to believe they aren’t good enough. When you feel little value, self-doubt is easy to cozy up with.
This poem reflects the constant internal dialogue I work through as I learn to value myself and in turn trust myself as I heal from my childhood abuse and trauma.
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