As Energy Wanes

As I sit here with my coffee I am reflecting on the previous 48 hours.

It’s like a switch flipped
I went from feeling 100 to maybe a 25.
My writing now ignored
responsibilities again laying in wait.

What the hell is going on?

I feel a weird familiarity with the dates.
The way they look and sound gives me weird visceral feelings
almost like deja vu.

Is it the dates getting in the way of my energy flow?
Lost memories tickling the surface?
Am I not practicing enough self-care?
Or is this really just PTSD and trauma healing?

Is this is what it feels like to not avoid emotions.
It’s so tiring.

Awesome weeks
constantly mixed with days of nothing.
Planning my days ahead feels impossible right now.

No energy.
No emotions.
No productivity.

As I sit here with my emotional support beverage☺ and go over my responsibilities here to this site and the obligations I feel to all of you – my mind is full of things to share but I can’t get it on to paper properly.

I have half-written pieces on my computer and not desire or interest in finishing them.

I’ve been in this rut before.
Why does it always feel new and unfamiliar each time?
I know I will get my footing soon enough – I know my awesome days are not gone forever.

I just wish they’d take a hike for longer than 7-10 days.

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Be patient with me – scheduled pieces will be coming soon.

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