A New Form of Creative

For months I have had a goal echoing in my head but I have been unable to accomplish it. My inability has been due to my own issues with confidence, and something else I wasn’t aware off.

Making Videos

Way back when I made a one minute video for my Instagram followers and I posted it here too. It was my first step at making videos as a means of communicating my healing and this journey.

Well, that was it. After that one video, I didn’t do it again. Not sure why, I just kind of wrote it off as insecurity and lack of confidence.

Then in August I did a LIVE interview with another organization on Instagram and I got a good sense of what my biggest issues were regarding getting in front of the camera.

I Don’t Know My Physical Self Very Well

I realized as I watched myself that I don’t really recognize myself. I don’t know my own mannerisms. Watching myself talk, watching my ticks, hearing my own voice, seeing how my face reacts to the things that I am saying – it made me take a closer look at myself than I think I ever have.

It got uncomfortable.

When I watched my interview back I went through many emotions, some not so great. It took some very mindful work to keep myself from going under in the days after, and honestly – it caught up to me regardless.

I spent most of the end of August dealing with heightened PTSD symptoms. This year has truly been a test of resilience, of fluidity, and of my ability to recognize what is and isn’t in my control.

A New Way to Express Myself

Through all of this, I have continued to toss the idea of making videos around in my head. It is something I truly wanted to try.

So I started watching TikTok – 1 minute videos – I can do that. I found some amazing people to follow, but as of yet, I haven’t found the space there that I am looking to create. As amazing as many people are – that platform gets mean.

Then I saw that Instagram now offers Reels, similiar to the TikTok set up, these videos segments are only 15 seconds. Now that – I can do!

I love making these short videos. For me it is has become a creative challenge to express myself through this new medium and I like the challenge.

Be sure to follow me on Instagram!!

Watch my Reels


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