Fear of Authenticity

Real-Talk About Trauma Healing

Thoughts about everyday life with complex PTSD from a girl trying to figure shit out. Let’s get real about trauma healing: a series

Confession time:

I get nervous before every LIVE show I host on Instagram, and I have a small panic attack afterwards. Every time.

Granted, it is getting better with each show … but the reality is, the nerves and the anxiety is there & it is because of the vulnerability and realness of each show. It can be a really uncomfortable space for a survivor of childhood abuse.

Honestly, it’s not just the shows. It happens nearly every time I step fully into myself without reservation.

The echoes of self-doubt and questions of worthiness begin to swirl in my head. I know it is because in those moments I am my most authentic self and so there is fear of judgement when my guard is down.

I realize this is all tied to my lifetime of being who other people needed or wanted as a means of feeling appreciated and useful. If I was making someone else’s life better, I’m not a burden and I don’t risk abandonment or rejection.

It has been a hard behavior to rewire; standing confidently in my own authenticity, being me unapologetically. But I strive for it every day and so should you!


Closing Comments

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