Thoughts Over Coffee

Coffee is therapy. Read along as I relate and offer affirmation to the struggles of living with Complex PTSD over my morning coffee.

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My birthday is also the day my mom went into a coma that she never woke from. She dies 18 days later.

Only as I began my healing journey (in my 30’s) did I realize the grief I have over the death of my mom and the loss of her throughout my life. Sadly, this is what dissociation will do.

You see, no one spoke of her to me as I grew up. And so, she has always been an enigam to me.

My grief over the magnitude of my loss has sadly overshadowed my birthday these last few years.

I understand very deeply how challenging and random Complex PTSD is in day-to-day life. How tiring it is to manage some days. And how lonely it feels knowing people in our lives just don’t get it.

There are days I question if it ever gets better; there are days that my question is answered for me as I relish in the moments of my life full of family and connection.

As I heal, I am learning every day that I cannot hold any expectation of my healing journey. All I can do is continue to learn who I am through the process.

Try not to have expectations of your own. Your journey will ebb and flow as it is meant to, trust your process. ✨🌻
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And on the days that it feels overwhelming, remember that I am right there walking alongside you. You are not alone. 💕

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