Realizing My Strength

Thoughts Over Coffee

Coffee is therapy. Read along as I relate and offer affirmation to the struggles of living with Complex PTSD over my morning coffee.

When I was a kid, I thought I was pretty special to have a birthday so close to my grandfather. Our parties often “joined” when we celebrated at his house. Being the “favorite granddaughter”, who got all the gifts and special attention, you have to understand how this was the coolest thing ever for me as a kid.

Even a sexually abused kid, by him.

Now as an adult, healing from that childhood of abuse – I am filled with complex emotions. Why did it have to be my grandpa? Why couldn’t I have had a normal childhood with a cool grandpa to share a birthday with?

Instead my grandfather was a monster, a thief of innocence, and his birthday has become one more date on the calendar that feels like a mountain to move around.

In these moments of grief, confusion, and tremendous anger I realize what a badass superhuman I am. The experiences and memories that my mind and body carries are dark, heavy, and painful – yet I am learning to live my life fully in spite of them.

On the days when I wallop the symptoms of Complex PTSD I feel in my soul my own strength to push through. I am breaking generational cycles of abuse and terror. I am paving a way for my children to be free of the burdens of my lineage.

That is some seriously brave shit!! 💪

If you are in the thick of breaking cycles of generational abuse and fear in your own life and you are doing your best to cope; if you refuse to give up – bravo!!! You are a superhuman badass too!!! 💪💜

Keep going, you deserve to shine! ✨🌻

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