Thoughts Over Coffee
Coffee is therapy. Read along as I relate and offer affirmation to the struggles of living with Complex PTSD over my morning coffee.
When I sit down each morning to write my Thoughts Over Coffee (which has become an amazing part of my morning routine), I try to keep them light, but truly the cheerleading we need as survivors is for all the heavy dark shit and well – that’s the muck I’m working through so this is what you get.
This year my trauma anniversaries didn’t steal the entire month of November from me, but they sure put up a fight for these last few weeks. I stumbled through some dark days, getting things done but struggling with connection. I have been present but not really – it’s like a half and half thing – and I feel like if you are reading this you get it.
Some Bumps in the Road
Recently I started to get down on myself about my process – the mental scoffing began “why am I letting this steal days of my life?” “Great, how many days am I going to lose to this crap now!? I think I wallowed in my self pity and anger at my trauma and the BS I have to go through for 10 minutes or so before I corrected myself firmly.
My journey is my journey. It will wax and wane as my story demands. The only way to make it through this craziness is to lean into it and allow space for all the things my body is remembering that my mind has blocked out.
It’s not fair. It’s not easy. I’m exhausted. But I deserve a fully connected life, and so do you! Let’s keep pushing through together.
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