Thoughts Over Coffee
Coffee is therapy. Read along as I relate and offer affirmation to the struggles of living with Complex PTSD over my morning coffee.
Recently, my mind and body have been shutting down and it takes everything in me to allow the space for my body to remember and process what it needs too. All while I allowed my mind to scream at me about the responsibilities I have and how I am failing.
When this happens I call out of work, writing and creating halts. I manage my daughter’s homeschooling but that’s about it. During these cycles I often don’t make dinner and leave the family to fend for themselves or I order in.
I sleep like crap yet wake up early and ready for the day. This is how I know I have slipped into hyper vigilance.
Listening to My Body
My body is in survival mode; it is remembering things that my mind has firmly blocked out. It is hard teaching myself it is okay to slow day, to even stop occasionally – and to simply tend to myself.
I am allowed to have needs, and one of those needs is the occasional break from life to heal myself quietly. I am hoping today is more productive than yesterday but I woke up with the understanding that I cannot hurry this inner work, I have to allow it the space in my life that I have deprived it of for some many decades.
I know what I want to get done today. But I will allow myself the space to simply exist is that is all I can muster.
Words of Encouragement
I hope on your toughest days, you find the compassion and patience within yourself to allow your inner child the space and the time to heal within you.
I can’t be my best self until I listen to and heal all the parts of me. Neither can you – and we both deserve the BEST lives ever!!
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