Recognize the Heavy Lifting

Thoughts Over Coffee

Coffee is therapy. Read along as I relate and offer affirmation to the struggles of living with Complex PTSD over my morning coffee.

I’ve been feeling a lot of stuff lately, and the only reason available are trauma anniversary dates and the understanding that the body remembers.

A couple weeks ago in therapy I got angry and started ranting about how much I HATE everything about Complex PTSD. I hate how it steals moments from my life, I hate how it makes me feel guilty for happiness – the flashbacks, insomnia, anxiety, anger, – just the fact that I have to manage it every day.

I’m tired!

My therapist asked me what my hatred for all of this will do for me and I told her it makes me feel better!

This morning I realize I was literally a petulant teenager in my session last night, acting out what has to be deeply rooted anger. Embarrassing. As I continued to reflect I realized it all happened the eve of my abuser’s birthday.

The whole experience disrupted my creative flow, it threatened my energy flow and through it all – I realized just how much heavy lifting I am doing as I heal. So, I sat up a little bit straighter.

I hope you realize just how much heavy lifting you are doing too.

Cheers to us badasses!!

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