Coffee is therapy. Read along as I relate and offer affirmation to the struggles of living with Complex PTSD over my morning coffee.
It isn’t easy being a new and growing public figure, and a childhood abuse survivor. My brain is wired to take things personally and internalize the criticism of others as a measure of my worth. With that in mind, I believe it is important to share this experience as I gain clarity, thanks to a friend who told me straight.
I believe what I experienced is common in any number of situations we survivors may encounter.
Here is what happened: for the first time recently I received public comments on a post that caused me to respond physically in a triggered manner. The comments I received weren’t necessarily mean, but they called into question what I posted and suggested I change the words to give more clarity to those who didn’t feel the same.
I calmly told my new followers that I would love to provide specific clarity to everyone on their own journeys but that is not part of my healing journey. My journey is to share my story, to heal from my story. Even though I had clearly stated this, I still felt the physical effects of my trigger response. Especially when they doubled down. It took my friend to remind me that my story was not my own as a child and that it makes sense I was respond like I was.
Suddenly it clicked. Deep down I felt like someone was trying to get me to change my story to fit their own needs. My inner child didn’t like that and she let me know. I won’t do that.
What I share on my platforms is my journey. My hope is to share relational healing and comfort, to make connections, and create safe space. I hope for all of you that you take from my healing journey what you need and that you leave here what does not serve your own personal journey.
Don’t let anyone tell you to change your story to fit their comfort. Stand tall in your truth, you deserve the space to heal your grief.
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