I feel pretty exhausted and I didn’t sleep well last night at all.
It has felt like a pretty stressful week considering the school situation I found myself in due to how I mishandled my own boundaries a month ago. When I realize I’ve slipped into a trauma response, after the fact, I find it hard not to get frustrated with where I am in my process vs where I want to be.
Communication with my daughter’s school has been open all week and then yesterday, instead of the school calling to address my frustration about the situation and to take accountability for what they did, I received an email that said my request will be honored. That was it.
Of course that is what I wanted this whole time, and in my logical brain I know this is a silent admission that this whole situation was handled incorrectly.
But my trauma brain still interpreted it as a negative.
The many thoughts: I’m too much, I am being judged, just give her what she wants and shut her up.
I am even concerned about mistreatment of my daughter now because I may be seen as “that parent”.
Yet when I told my daughter the final outcome I got a huge smile with a literal thumbs up to the clouds. She is so excited to be returning to the class and classmates that she was abruptly taken from without notice or explanation.
I did the right thing.
Still, I went through it to get it done because I have a childhood of trauma that has affected the way my brain filters this kind of stuff and the coping skills I employ.
I’m putting my stuff down today, my brain needs a rest.
If you need to put it down and rest, put it down and rest! Applaud yourself for your awareness to know you need a break and practice slowing down.
On goes the journey.