A Child’s Rage, Echoes

My mind feels like it has been hijacked
by all the things I am trying to separate 
myself from.

The wounds from my childhood,
that I am working tirelessly to heal,
feel broken open,
exposed and vulnerable.

It is amazing the strength of the past,
how cruelty can still strike so deep,
despite protective armor
and proper coping skills.

Rage.

I feel invaded,
disrespected,
and pensive.

Rage.

I feel alone,
empty,
and disconnected.

Rage.

I long for connection
with no desire to put out
my hand.

Rage.

This feeling
threatens to take my breath,
it tightens my throat,
and it speaks through my eyes.

Rage.

I can hear the echoes of a little girl.
I feel the emotions she cannot name.

She feels forgotten,
alone,
and empty.

She is angry.

She still longs for connection.

She grieves all that was stolen,
and all that she has lost.

So angry …

She is screaming with rage through my tears:
“I just wanted to be loved”.

So I will embrace her,
I will love her,
I will be for her, everything they are not.

I will stand in this rage with her,
until she is ready to let it go
on her own.

***

written by: Shanon Page


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6 thoughts on “A Child’s Rage, Echoes

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  1. Absolutely beautiful, though heart-breaking. Remember, we are standing there with you. 🧡💜

  2. We completely understand how it feels.
    We want you and we love you.
    We know that our little family is far from perfect but we are doing the work to heal our stuff.
    You are one of the most amazing and beautiful people that we know, and it’s an absolute privilege to have you as a part of our life.
    We truly hope that your family reads this comment because they need to know that they really don’t deserve to have you in their life at all.

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