When Silence Stops

A survivor friend on Instagram recently started a new page called Something to Say and asked if I would contribute. The context of the page is post after post from trauma survivors and allies sharing thoughts and feelings on the topics that need to be talked about.

When I was asked if I had Something to Say, I was immediately overwhelmed with how much I do have to say that I couldn’t come up with anything specific.

That’s what I plan to talk about. 

Where I Come From

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and incest. My abuser was a family secret, a generational pedophile, and well protected by the ranks. My family on that side went to great lengths to enable and deny my abuse in childhood. Now, they try to discredit me because denying the story is far too obvious.

As a child I was actively silenced. 

I was punished for speaking, and my reality was continuously denied both in private and public the few times I did try to speak up. At the trial when I was 15 my father was a witness for the defense, scheduled to take the stand under oath and call me a liar.

When the trial ended abruptly with the suicide of my sexual abuser, that side of my family turned their backs on me and the lesson landed hard.

I became estranged from them both in physical distance and communication. I wasn’t sought by my family, so I didn’t try to contact them. I was the child in this situation, it was not my responsibility to fix these relationships.

After that, I went silent for the next 20+ years.

The Age of Awakening

When my childhood caught up to me at 37, I sought help and began sharing my story in the safety of my newly found therapists’ offices (yep, plural – I saw two therapists for 18 months weekly). From there the transition to sharing publicly for connection was organic and evolved on its own.

As I share my story, I have found magical healing in the connections I make with others. It is empowering, and powerful for my healing.

That side of my family can no longer silence me, they no longer get to narrate my experiences. I am taking back my life, I am untelling the lies and the secrets that stole my childhood.

I have plenty to say about that. 

So when asked if I had something to say, yes I do – I want every survivor who reads this to know that they have every right to speak their truth and share their story!

Those who take issue with your truth about them should have considered their behavior from the start – now they can live with the consequences of their choices.

It is so important for us as survivors to have the space to share, connect, to be heard, and to be supported. I am grateful for this platform.

We do not have to do this alone.

Join Me as I Journey

Other Resources at Surviving Childhood Trauma


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