My Healing Is For Me

Thoughts Over Coffee via @survivingchildhoodtrauma ☕️

I want to share a quick story about growth, acceptance, and the shedding of shame.

When I began my healing journey five years ago, I was all but estranged from my abuser’s side of my family which consists of an aunt and uncle (my dad’s siblings) and a handful of cousins.

It never occurred to me that they (the siblings) gave me any thought, however as the years progressed I soon learned that they did, and they were watching.

Out of the Woodwork

Last year they both showed up in their own ways on my website, on my Facebook, and in my DMs. If they are on my Instagram – they have learned to be quiet if they want to continue reading what I write.

They cannot deny my abuse: my case went to trial, I wasn’t the only victim, and my grandfather admitted his guilt with his suicide the second day of the trial. So they attack me personally.

Through their attempted interactions with me, I was told that my memories of childhood were wrong and then was informed of my truth. I clapped back.

That’s when I was called controlling and obnoxious (both now and as a child). I was compared to my abusive father and gaslit by my aunt regarding how she cut me off years ago.

I was told to get over it and stop being a victim, to stop “beating the same drum over and over” – their words specifically.

But trauma and healing doesn’t work that way.

Trauma & The Body

My trauma is conditioned into my nervous system. Those memories are etched in my brain. Healing means I am aware of that and working with myself daily to release my pain and embrace a wholly integrated version of myself that is not defined by my trauma and abuse.

I don’t “get over” my childhood in order to heal it, my childhood will always be there.

I embrace the truth of my experiences and how they have affected me so that I can live my best life – that is how trauma healing works in the mind and body.

My healing is NOT about the comfort of others, it is about me.

On goes the journey 💪🏻🔥

Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups meet on alternating Wednesdays and Fridays via Zoom. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.

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