Thoughts Over Coffee via @survivingchildhoodtrauma
I am moving in about 5 months. Our landlord is moving back into their home upon retirement, a home my family has rented for the last 11 years. It was shocking to receive notice and it started a months-long trigger episode with layers of trauma for me to work through.
A friendship that meant a lot to me changed last year and kicked off a separate months-long trigger episode layered with more trauma, similar and different to the wounds triggered by my upcoming move.
I have work situations in my past, situations where I knew at the time (and know now) were the best outcomes for me, but that triggered me then and still linger in the corners of my mind waiting to latch on to something new and say “see, told ya – it’s you!”
And countless other encounters with strangers, family, and friends that would seem easy to handle by someone without my childhood, but that can render me incapable of functioning for hours, days, weeks, or even months – depending on how deep and painful the wound it activates.
My Brain Works Differently
Sometimes, when I share these thought processes and responses with my husband, he’ll try to reason it out in ways that sound completely logical, but just don’t work for me. He is still learning that his way of receiving and handling the world around him is nothing like mine.
I find this with most people who don’t understand childhood trauma.
My brain operates differently.
It is interesting too, conceptually I always understand where he is coming from even though I may not feel it in my body; yet so many times he doesn’t get how my mind works.
I am very grateful that his lack of understanding never gets in the way of his support for my journey.
It is hard living in a world that doesn’t understand the trauma brain in my head, but I am finding my people, focused on my healing, and committed to my process. I hope you are too!
On goes the journey
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