Thoughts Over Coffee ☕️ via @survivingchildhoodtrauma
Last week I took a 5 day hiatus from my social media pages and I put the trauma work down. I’ve been away from here for over a month.
Burn out hit me hard. Again.
Last Saturday I was still so deeply shut down and exhausted that I wasn’t sure if I would be back this week.
However, by Tuesday, I felt myself again.
The Ebbs And Flows of Healing
While this particular shutdown did feel a bit extreme due to some recent heavy lifting I have done around my attachment style and abandonment wound – ultimately, this is how my healing cycles.
I have ebbed and flowed between these highs and lows for the last five years that I have been healing with full awareness of how my childhood abuse affects me.
The highs and lows aren’t quite so intense these days compared to the early days of my healing as I get a better handle on self-care, rest, and prioritizing myself – but the roller coaster still continues all the same.
Untangling Survival Mode
My trauma is so deeply ingrained in my body; I have spent so many years reacting, making decisions, and coping based on the survival skills and emotional responses of an abused child.
Unlearning things that I do so naturally, untangling emotions that belong to my past from present day situations, and coping with everything that I am not used to feeling isn’t fast learning and I can’t think my way through this.
As much as I would like to, it doesn’t work that way.
I have to teach my body how to feel safety where it feels danger. I have to teach my mind to be kinder to myself when I make a mistake. I have to learn to trust myself and the decisions I make.
I remind myself often that I have spent far more years surviving than I have healing. I must be patient with myself and with my journey.
Learning to give myself this space with compassion is also part of healing. 🔥
Give yourself the space you need to heal, you deserve it.
On goes the journey💪🏻❤️🩹
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