Thoughts Over Coffee ☕via @survivingchildhoodtrauma
Recently I made a decision which put myself first in a situation that historically I have always suppressed myself in.
I choose myself in the wake of a rupture between a friend and I. I decided that continuing a friendship would not serve me any longer and I chose to seek closure instead. It was so uncomfortable, so sad – but I don’t regret my decision.
In fact, it was empowering; I not only made the decision and communicated it, but I also managed the emotional aftermath.
It Doesn’t Always Have To Be Me
It was a stark contrast to the trauma response patterns I normally rely on and it leveled up my own ability to trust myself and see the reality of some of my deepest wounds.
I am a habitual second (and third, and fourth) chance giver, I always try to see the struggles of the other person with compassion, and to be the person who gives them the space to grow and learn, often at my own emotional and mental expense.
In recent months I have come to realize that while everyone deserves this room for growth, it doesn’t always have to be me who gives it to them.
I faced off with my abandonment wound and my deepest fears of being alone, left behind, and rejected.
Moving Through the Discomfort
There is so much grief and loss in trauma healing. I feel like I have lost so much already, that my grief is never ending as it is – and now as I heal I find that letting go of people and things is actually a normal part of personal growth.
I am allowed to say that something no longer works for me – and even when it is the right thing to do, it still doesn’t always feel good.
However, when I do let go and move forward in ways that prioritize myself, I open up space to receive the people and the things that serve me well.
When I face my deepest fears and put myself first, I am untangling decades of trauma cycles.
I wish for you the strength to know your worth and the courage to put yourself first. You deserve to be surrounded by people who value you, and that begins with yourself.
On goes the journey
Looking for ways to connect with other survivors and/or receive support as you heal?
Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need. These small groups meet on alternating Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.
You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space with Shanon. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.