You ask and I answer! In the Ask Me Anything series, I answer your questions about my own healing journey and anything trauma related in general, as best I can. Today’s question is:
How do I Navigate Sharing my Journey with my Children?
Every day is a little bit different but ultimately, I heal openly and unapologetically in front of my family with their support and the support of professionals as well as peers and friends.
I have two children; one is a young adult, one just started 2nd grade. My healing journey has been very different experiences for both of them. I began my healing journey when my oldest was around 18 and my youngest was one.
There were no filters on how my oldest found out.
They went from knowing very little about my past to knowing everything about my abuse as they watched me transition from a functioning mom to a mom who couldn’t keep anything under control, especially my emotions.
I went from suppressing everything, to constant overwhelm, therapy twice a week, and full disclosure to the household about what I was going through.
I don’t know why, but it never occurred to me not to be completely open and honest about what I was struggling with.
In all honesty, if I could do it over again, I might navigate this a bit more cautiously. It was very difficult for my oldest, they didn’t need to know the details that I shared, and transitioning with me into this new version of myself has been difficult for them over the last few years.
Prior to the pandemic my healing consisted of therapy and writing on my website. Soon after everything shut down I lost my job.
I decided in the early months of lockdowns that I would focus on my journey, write more about my healing, and try to continue connecting with other survivors. Instagram is what ended up manifesting in those early months, and that naturally put me on this path of openly sharing my healing journey.
My youngest is growing up with mom doing live shows, groups sessions, and 1:1s with trauma survivors.
She doesn’t know the details of my story; but she does know that mom’s childhood was scary and that my dad was mean to me. She will naturally learn my story as she grows and as it is appropriate. This is not something I am in a hurry to share with her, but I am also not avoiding.
Learning to Be Authentically Me
My story is a piece of who I am and healing is about accepting and integrating all parts of myself not hiding them. This is how I can become the best version of myself for me, and for my family.
I share my story with my children in appropriate ways and at appropriate times. I haven’t always gotten it right, but it has been a continuous experience of growth for me as I see myself breaking cycles in real time.
On goes the journey
Ask Me Anything
Submit your own question and be keep an eye open for my answer!
Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?
Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need.
These small groups meet on alternating Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.
You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.
Shanon is a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. She is a survivor with years committed to her own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, she has a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.
These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.