Thoughts Over Coffee with Shanon ☕️via Surviving Childhood Trauma
I decided to add reiki to my healing tool kit this year.
I remember how at first it felt light and new, then as I continued to use the energy healing it began to feel like I was moving deeper into my healing and stuff is getting real.
Just like the overwhelm I felt in the first few months of therapy, I found myself wondering: “Am I pushing myself too hard?” as things began to get uncomfortable.
Then it happened, as my practitioner worked to release a negative cord attached to me. She called out a specific incident at age 17 and immediately new memories flooded me. I mentioned it and her response was that “I can continue to think about it, or I can let it go which is what we are doing”.
She meant no harm but oof😮💨
The Reality of Trauma
I would love so much to just let it go as she was moving around my body working to release all the emotions I had trapped in me, but instead I brought it home that day.
How could I not?
I spent all of that day silently working through the sudden movie reel of memories flooding my mind. I didn’t tell anyone.
The next morning I shared it with a friend.
The following day, I decided to tell my husband.
It was hard to say out loud and I felt foolish like I was making stuff up. Afterwards I had a panic attack. I wished I hadn’t said anything, I was fearful of what my husband now thought of me, and suddenly I just wasn’t sure that my memories were actually correct.
Finally, it led me into a complete shut down.
I wanted so badly to just let it go or get over it, but that is not how trauma works.
It is a Part of My Story
My experiences will always be, my memories will always be, and it will always be those who were supposed to protect and love me, who did it. No amount of years passing will ever change these truths.
Don’t get me wrong – it wouldn’t be for a lack of trying. Carrying this shit with me isn’t something I would intentionally choose for myself. If I could just get the hell over it and move on – I would … but that isn’t how complex trauma works in the mind and body.
In trauma healing, I do not “let go” or “get over” things – I heal through them so that I can coexist with my experiences and they no longer control me or my responses. Healing is about acceptance, not making it all go away.
It’s okay if I can’t just let it go!
It’s okay if you can’t just “let it go” either.
On goes the journey 💪🏻❤️🩹🔥
Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?
Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need.
These small groups meet on alternating Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.
You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.
Shanon is a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. She is a survivor with years committed to her own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, she has a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.
These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.