The Consequence of Avoidance

Thoughts Over Coffee Surviving Childhood Trauma

As this new year begins, my life have been unbelievably stressful to the point that I am scattered, forgetful, short fused, and exhausted.

Moving from my home of 12 years last month, a home that I created and experienced safety and stability in for the first time in my life has been hugely impactful on me. I didn’t choose to move, our landlord took their property back and so I have felt so powerless through the whole situation.

Avoidance: My Protector

We were notified in November of 2021 that we needed to vacate our home by July of last year. A month or so later, our landlord changed her mind (kind of) and said we could stay a while longer with no future move date mentioned.

Through the course of last year I went about my business in my former home, knowing full well a move was imminent, but I simply didn’t think about it.

Even when we figured out where we were going to move and the renovations began on the home we are now in – I went about life like I was going to stay where I was.

I knew I was downsizing in a massive way. I had over a year to organize, clean, and pack my four bedroom home with a garage to be prepared for this move. I didn’t do anything.

I bought boxes the week before everything was scheduled to happen.

The Consequences

In doing so, I turned what should have been a weekend move into nearly two weeks of stressful chaos, consisting of hours of work in our former home in the dark and cold, per diem charges from our former landlord, and eventually a storage unit to house the things we still need to organize.

I really believe I thought if I just didn’t think about it, it wasn’t real.

This unwanted move has unlocked a lot of emotional flashbacks for me, and despite my awareness of my survival tendencies I managed to avoid my move with everything fully in my face for over a year.

To the point of financial consequence.


Finding Self-Compassion

It is hard not to judge myself, I knew full well and I also knew better.

But this is trauma: engrained survival skills that react like muscle memory to protect me. Healing means meeting these protectors with self-love and understanding .. which is sometimes difficult.

On goes the journey ❤️‍🩹💪🏻

Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?

Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need. 

These small groups meet on alternating days of the week via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.

You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.

Hi, I am Shanon and I am a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. I am also a survivor with years committed to my own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, I have a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.

I specialize in helping survivors like you make connections between real time experiences and past trauma wounds, identify and communicate boundaries, create self-care plans that work, navigate big emotions and trauma responses, reparent your inner child, and embody your own self-worth through the healing process with confidence and personal empowerment.

These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.

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