I Struggle To Feel Happy

Thoughts Over Coffee with Surviving Childhood Trauma ☕️

Join me for a cup of coffee and some real talk about complex PTSD and trauma healing and recovery. Surviving Childhood Trauma together.

Two weeks ago in therapy I cried a lot. I am so tired of this not quite numb but definitely not connected feeling.

Since my session prior, in general things have been going well. We are settling into our new home slowly, meeting the neighbors, and becoming familiar with the neighborhood.

The job I took last year and found myself in wage negotiations with after having signed an acceptance letter has worked out in my favor. The agency met the wages I asked for and I have been moving forward with training and providing peer support to people in my community.

I’ve also been repairing a ruptured relationship in my life the last few weeks after months of estrangement – my heart couldn’t be more happy with the path and progress I am making with this person in my life who means the world to me.

Even in my home with my family we have been more connected having home cooked dinners and evenings on the couch watching TV together

That is a whole lot of good stuff happening and most people would recognize it and enjoy it.

I just don’t feel what I know, and that is difficult to navigate.

Patience With My Process

I know I am making progress because I am not fully dissociating or avoiding, but I am still waiting for the crash to come as survival wanes and exhaustion sets in.

My system feels activated, on guard, and afraid of all of this change. The only way I know to stay safe is to see and anticipate the bad, to be ready for whatever may come. Happiness doesn’t feel safe right now.

I wish I could simply be happy for the good things in my life, I wish I could embrace them, embody them, and stop feeling so disconnected from them; I wish my first response wasn’t to feel the weight of everything that scares me and makes me feel powerless.

Embodying What I Can Control

During this recent therapy session we talked through the decisions I have made around my move, the goals my husband and I have set, and my therapist helped me ground back into my purpose, and to regain a sense of control in the powerlessness that I feel.

It doesn’t make me suddenly feel happy – but she helped me find direction again, and that is progress.

On goes the journey 💪🏻❤️‍🩹

Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?

Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need. 

These small groups meet on alternating days of the week via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.

On the Journey Peer Support Monthly Package

As a part of this monthly support program you will gain access to all Survivor’s Circle Peer Support group support sessions every month as well as individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon each month. 


Hi, I am Shanon and I am a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. I am also a survivor with years committed to my own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, I have a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.

I specialize in helping survivors like you make connections between real time experiences and past trauma wounds, identify and communicate boundaries, create self-care plans that work, navigate big emotions and trauma responses, reparent your inner child, and embody your own self-worth through the healing process with confidence and personal empowerment.

These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.

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