It Always Comes Back To Boundaries

Thoughts Over Coffee with Shanon from Surviving Childhood Trauma ☕️ Join me for a cup of coffee and some real talk about complex PTSD and trauma healing and recovery.

Boundaries came up in the Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Group recently and I feel compelled to share my experiences with my personal boundary work with family.

The Learning Curve

Boundaries are one of the many challenging aspects of my healing journey. Since my healing began boundaries have been a layered learning process:

Reconciling my childhood of no boundaries;

Learning what boundaries are;

Discovering MY personal boundaries;

Figuring out how to communicate them;

Learning how to uphold them when they are disregarded;

and finally, removing the people in my life who will not respect them …

Boundaries are a lot of work but they are important. If I don’t do the work then I am the one who becomes burned out, resentful, and ready to cut people out of my life or avoid them in order to get relief from the situation.


Leaning In With Awareness

In recent weeks, I have found myself at a breaking point with a couple family members. People that I love, who I will always support in every way I can, and whom I know don’t have a big support system.

They have needed more than I can give, and in return I am getting little space for my own stresses. I mean, I need someone to talk to too! 

So I took it to therapy to unpack.

I am allowed to have boundaries, I am allowed to need space, and I have the right to tell my family members – but the thought of having that conversation, or sending that text drops my stomach, kicks off my fear of abandonment, and brings my avoidant tendencies straight to the surface.

What if I hurt them, what if they get angry with me, what if they think less of me, what if they just stop calling all together and I lose the closeness of my family?

Untangling My Childhood Wounds

It is amazing how my childhood experiences are so clearly and deeply tangled in my fear of boundaries with people I love in my adult life. Having any type of boundary as a child held consequences – physically and emotionally – and that fear is still very much alive inside me.

I deserve boundaries that make me feel safe and healthy, so, despite my fear, I expressed recently that it wasn’t a good time to talk on the phone instead of staying on like I normally do, and that felt like the biggest win ever! 🔥

On goes the journey 💪🏻❤️‍🩹


Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?

Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need. 

These small groups meet on alternating days of the week via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.

You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.

On the Journey Peer Support Monthly Package

As a part of this monthly support program you will gain access to all Survivor’s Circle Peer Support group support sessions every month as well as individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon each month. 

Hi, I am Shanon

I am a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. I am also a survivor with years committed to my own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, I have a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.

I specialize in helping survivors like you make connections between real time experiences and past trauma wounds, identify and communicate boundaries, create self-care plans that work, navigate big emotions and trauma responses, reparent your inner child, and embody your own self-worth through the healing process with confidence and personal empowerment.

These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.

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