The Survivors Speak Interview series is dedicated to amplifying the voices of survivors by providing a platform to share our stories and connect us through experiences and healing. Read stories of childhood trauma as survivors share their pain, their hope, and their healing.
Anonymous Story, Melbourne Australia
Please share what inspired you to share your story.
I have unhealed pain in regards to my abuse as a child, my abuser my father fails to acknowledge the damage done to his children.
Introduce yourself: tell us about your passions, interests, family life, favorite quotes, etc.
I love photography I’m self taught; it’s the one thing that keeps me at peace. I have two teenage daughters and I’m married.
Please share your story in as much or as little detail as you are comfortable.
I can always remember my father yelling and sounding aggressive, I knew his footsteps as a child and I would know his mood. I can remember from the age of about six my dad would beat my younger brother and I if he had a bad day, or we made too much noise; his moods always determined our beatings.
He would never hit us from the front. He would kick us from behind until we fell over, he would continue to kick us even on the ground. Sometimes he he would punch us in the back of the head and then kick us when we fell over. I would often watch my younger brother get beaten for reasons I cannot remember.
The beatings continued throughout primary school and high school. The last time my father beat me up was when I was 21.
The shame of admitting this happened is still so raw.
My mother would stand by and watch, I think she was afraid of him as well, I never saw him beat her, although I did hear them argue and he was always aggressive in his yelling. I was always afraid of my father and I still am in a way, maybe that’s why I feel a need to share this.
My parents have never acknowledged any beatings, for them it never happened. The refusal to even listen to my brother and I makes me feel like I was beat up all over again.
What are some of the challenging ways your trauma has manifested in your life?
I was always quiet in school, I did not trust adults, I used to cry a lot. I was sensitive to noise and any raised voices. I struggled with my school work all my life and I always thought I was dumb.
I used to flinch when others made sudden moves.
I second guessed my gut feelings all the time. I don’t like authority at all, it’s a massive trigger for me even now. I can pick out arrogant, aggressive men a mile away.
When did healing begin? Was there a catalyst moment and how did you reach this point?
Healing began when I was about 38, after I had my children, I felt I had to be strong for them, a voice. I would never treat my babies that way, I wanted them to be able to come to me anytime and not feel afraid
What has your healing journey looked like day-to-day: techniques, modalities, practices, tools you use?
It is still a struggle.
At the moment I’m seeing a psychiatrist, the trauma of the lockdowns brought up a lot of pain for me. I try to practice my photography and meditation. I also love to walk in nature, sometimes bare feet on the ground.
What are two or three things you have learned as you heal that you believe are important for survivors to know as they heal?
- That it’s not your fault, your not to blame for others issues.
- Shame is huge for me, I’m still working on it and the sudden triggers. It can be debilitating.
- It’s ok to walk away from conversations that you know are going to make you uncomfortable.
Additional Thoughts From This Survivor
I can’t stand my father still, and the pretending that goes on is really making me feel ill at the moment. I just feel false and with him still being a contractor freak at all times is really hard to take.
My psychiatrist is helping me with this at the moment. My feelings about the situation is ongoing
Thank you for sharing your story brave warrior!
Share Your Story
Sharing your story is a powerful part of your healing journey. It helps you find and reclaim your voice and it helps others who are trying to find there’s. It lets us all know that we are not alone when we can connect through shared lived experiences.
If you would like to share your own story with the Surviving Childhood Trauma community, please use the link below to submit it.
Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?
Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need.
These small groups meet on alternating days of the week via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.
You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.
On the Journey Peer Support Monthly Package
As a part of this monthly support program you will gain access to all Survivor’s Circle Peer Support group support sessions every month as well as individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon each month.
Hi, I am Shanon
I am a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. I am also a survivor with years committed to my own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, I have a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.
I specialize in helping survivors like you make connections between real time experiences and past trauma wounds, identify and communicate boundaries, create self-care plans that work, navigate big emotions and trauma responses, reparent your inner child, and embody your own self-worth through the healing process with confidence and personal empowerment.
These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.