The Survivors Speak Interview series is dedicated to amplifying the voices of survivors by providing a platform to share our stories and connect us through experiences and healing. Read stories of childhood trauma as survivors share their pain, their hope, and their healing.
Anonymous Survivor Story
Please share what inspired you to share your story.
My heartbeat is to help people. If I can lead one person who has been through the same trauma as me, or any trauma for that matter, to the one who heals, it is worth everything.
Introduce yourself: tell us about your passions, interests, family life, favorite quotes, etc.
I’m 26 years old, and I live in a little apartment by myself. My passion is Jesus – I want to tell as many people about Him as I can. I love to write and I dream of writing a book one day.
Please share your story in as much or as little detail as you are comfortable.
I was 12 years old.
My parents went out of town – me and my siblings stayed with my aunt and her new(ish) husband, and our cousins. One night, my aunt and uncle got in an argument. It got so heated, that she said she was going for a drive. And every kid wanted to ride with her, and she said yes, but there wasn’t room for me. So I stayed behind with my uncle alone.
I had just gotten out of the shower, and my skin was dry, so I asked him for some lotion. That was a mistake.
Please understand, at this point I was a virgin and did not understand a whole lot about sex. He brought me in his room, gave me some lotion, watched me put it on, and told me to lay down. I wasn’t comfortable at all, but I didn’t know what else to do, run? So I laid down. He did whatever he wanted to me in the guise of “massaging.”
I remember just staring at the TV playing, completely disassociating from what he was doing to me.
This happened again and again for a while, and every time, I completely froze. It’s like fear completely paralyzed me. The last time he touched me he ended up drugging my drink, but after he was done, all I could do was pull the blanket up over me and laid there until sunrise. After this time, I told a close friend. My friend told an adult, who in turn told my mom, who in turn told everyone. I hated myself, and I was ashamed.
What are some of the challenging ways your trauma has manifested in your life?
After the sexual abuse, I thought that sex was the only thing I was good for.
At 13, I became very promiscuous. I didn’t care about myself, I was completely emotionally unattached to almost every person I’ve slept with, and I also did it just because if I said no, they’d do it anyway, so might as well just agree to it right?
It was a defense mechanism, if you will.
Because of my promiscuity and self worth being at an all time low, I started drinking, doing drugs, and cutting myself. I literally wanted to die. Sexual abuse manifested in depression/suicidal thoughts and actions.
When did healing begin? Was there a catalyst moment and how did you reach this point?
I was 20, and working as a waitress. Keep in mind, during this job, I was still at an all time low living the same old life of the same old things. These people came in and became my regular and honestly my favorite customers. After a while we talked about church, and I knew I needed God. I needed something. They invited me, and I went.
This is when my life changed through repentance – I turned away from sex, drinking, cutting, drugs, and my party life. Water baptism in Jesus name – washing away of the sins I repented of. And the Holy Ghost – the spirit of God living inside of me!
It has brought me joy, peace, and healing. God heals – not only physical diseases, but He also heals broken hearts, minds, and spirits. And for that I am thankful!
What has your healing journey looked like day-to-day: techniques, modalities, practices, tools you use?
Letting people in. Specifically, people of God. I trusted no one, but letting them in was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I was so afraid of touching and hugs and now I thrive on them ever since I’ve let them in.
Also, staying close to God has been my healing. Truly.
What are two or three things you have learned as you heal that you believe are important for survivors to know as they heal?
1) When you cry out to the air in desperation for relief, God does hear. And He can change your life.
2) You are not alone. Your story has value, and you never know who it will help one day after you’ve healed.
3) You are worthy of love.
Additional Thoughts From
I’ve always said that blessings come through raindrops. Storms even. The fact is, if I was never sexually abused, I would not have the Holy Ghost today. I would’ve never gotten at an all time low, and so hungry for a better life. God works ALL things out for the GOOD
Thank you for sharing your story brave warrior!
Share Your Story
Sharing your story is a powerful part of your healing journey. It helps you find and reclaim your voice and it helps others who are trying to find there’s. It lets us all know that we are not alone when we can connect through shared lived experiences.
If you would like to share your own story with the Surviving Childhood Trauma community, please use the link below to submit it.
Looking for Ways to Connect With Other Survivors and/or Receive Support as You Heal?
Survivor’s Circle Peer Support Groups might be just what you need.
These small groups meet on alternating days of the week via Zoom. In these groups, survivors connect, share, and support each other through the ebbs and flows of healing. Attend a session and experience the magical healing that happens when survivors connect and support each other through shit only we can understand.
You can also book individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon for private support in a closed space. You deserve support as you heal, and I am here to help. You don’t have to heal alone.
On the Journey Peer Support Monthly Package
As a part of this monthly support program you will gain access to all Survivor’s Circle Peer Support group support sessions every month as well as individual 1:1 peer support sessions with Shanon each month.
Hi, I am Shanon
I am a trauma informed, trained, and Certified Peer Support Specialist in the state of Wisconsin. I am also a survivor with years committed to my own trauma healing after being diagnosed with (C) PTSD due to childhood abuse. Additionally, I have a professional and personal history of community facilitation and peer work.
I specialize in helping survivors like you make connections between real time experiences and past trauma wounds, identify and communicate boundaries, create self-care plans that work, navigate big emotions and trauma responses, reparent your inner child, and embody your own self-worth through the healing process with confidence and personal empowerment.
These support groups and 1:1 peer support sessions should not replace professional therapy; they will however provide additional support and information.
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