We’re Figuring It Out as We Go

It happened quickly,the breakdown in communication.If only this damn pandemic!!Family visits.Why must they be such a gamble?Taking age, health conditions,and outside risk factors into consideration,is there even a safe way for an overnight visit?And lest we forget - with age,What if we don't have much time left?The guilt if we infect,the guilt if we miss... Continue Reading →

Pieces of Poetry: A Flower Blooms

A poem I wrote in September of 2017 when I first began my healing journey. This poem is about reflection, resilience, and self-discovery. I hope you enjoy it. https://survivingchildhoodtrauma.com/2017/09/21/a-flower-blooms/ So young; shy; quiet; her voice often lost on the wind. Reserved; withdrawn; lonely; her feelings often ignored. Broken; imperfect; defeated; her sense of self only... Continue Reading →

Emotional Tug-of-War

Travel back in time with me.First we’ll jump a week or so -and then back another 15 years. The tension was thick.We were just a couple years reconnectedafter 7 years of estrangementthat was dripping with betrayal, loss, disappointment, and grief. But I was trying. He’d call every once in awhile,mostly we talked through email.Always about the most mundane... Continue Reading →

Pieces of Poetry: J.R.R Tolkien

“All that is gold does not glitter,Not all those who wander are lost;The old that is strong does not wither,Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken,A light from the shadows shall spring;Renewed shall be blade that was broken,The crownless again shall be king.”― J.R.R. Tolkien There is... Continue Reading →

The Bracelet

Is it coincidence,or irony,that during a time when I am intimately working oncoming to terms with the fact that I have been a motherless daughter my whole life,my own child decided to stop talking to me?  How to put into words what it feels like carrying the grief that I do,of my own losses, disappointments,... Continue Reading →

Painful Realizations

This morning I started writing about somethingother than this.I had an itinerary for the day,and I was right on schedule.Now, how to describe this feeling?What words best fitthat pivotal moment when things changed today.Triggered?Trauma Response?Flight Mode?Any, or all perhaps.My focus is lost,and exhaustion has set in.It happened so quickly I wasn't able to properly brace myself.It... Continue Reading →

Imprinted with Grief

Sometimes the sadnessis so thick in my lungs,so visceral through my body. How much loss can one heart carry?At what point will it finally shatterinto so many piecesthey never fit back together? How much rejection can one soul bearbefore it is scarred forever?Imprinted with grief,beaten down,unable to recharge. It feels like it will always be... Continue Reading →

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