My recovery from childhood sexual abuse
“Tell me how you are feeling.” Where do I even start? There are so many emotions; jumbled, and confused. I am silent. They swirl in my head, beating against the inside of my mind, loud, aggressive, demanding validation, demanding comfort. “Where do you feel it?” I pause, I ponder … well, in my head. My... Continue Reading →
This morning anxiety showed at at 5:30am and demanded my company...
“I did what my conscience told me to do, and you can’t fail if you do that.” Anita Hill When I read these words today, they spoke to all of my self-doubt, to the vulnerability and fear I feel, and the anxiousness of sharing some very personal (embarrassing even) moments of my life in order... Continue Reading →
Betrayal, Acceptance, Forgiveness - three HUGE words for trauma survivors.
The first step is recognizing the patterns; now the work can begin.
Trauma recovery is a long-term, extremely challenging undertaking. Constant reflection is necessary.
I recognize the behavior, why can’t I stop doing it? Well, because of trauma...
Real time reflections as I process overwhelming emotions.
As a survivor, I understrand first hand how it feels to not be believed. ~~~~~~~~~~ I was in kindergarten the first time I spoke up about my abuse; I told a teacher at my school. Both my father and grandmother went to the school, met with officials, and assured them I simply had an active... Continue Reading →
When my mom's side of the family came to visit, it challenged everything I have made myself believe about family and unconditional love.
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