QoTD: friendship and boundaries
Validating my Grief
A moment of reflection on my grief, sometimes it just needs to be validated.
Glorious. What my childhood could have been, should have been, but was not. Family vacations, weekend bar-b-ques, with photo albums full of happy memories, these things did not exist. Sadness, loss, grief, shame, I have plenty. Glorious. Oh, how it could have been, how it should have been … Instead, nightmares, silence, fear, betrayal, loneliness,... Continue Reading →
Flashbacks, Nightmares, Chaos
After decades of disassociation from the effects of my childhood abuse, I started having flashbacks. That was nine months ago. At first, they were just images, memories that I saw but didn’t actually remember, then they became physical. I could feel them; sense them I talked about them a little with my therapist, I mentioned... Continue Reading →
Haiku: Emotional Chaos
Sometimes I don't have many words for the chaos in my head as I deal with the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse. Chaos. That is really the only word I can think of to describe it. The simplicity of Haiku helps me slow down the emotional onslaught. Here are a few I've jotted down... Continue Reading →
Learning How to Cope
I have had a hard time lately sitting down to write. Even when I am not posting I try to journal, if I do not address all my emotions they come out one way or another whether it be tears, rage, or raging tears. But lately, I have not been able to find words for... Continue Reading →
How my Child can Trigger my PTSD
As a survivor of sexual abuse as a child, I am working hard to recognize and undo a lot of negative connotations about myself. One of the hardest, “I am not good enough”. I spent my whole childhood feeling like a burden to the family that was supposed to love me. I was raised by... Continue Reading →
When Emotions Get Big
I fight my emotions, a lot. All the emotions that are bottled up inside. When they get intense I get hung up on the fact that I actually feel them rather than allowing myself to process and deal with what has caused them to begin with. It has been my biggest struggle in therapy, feeling my... Continue Reading →
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