Glorious. What my childhood could have been, should have been, but was not. Family vacations, weekend bar-b-ques, with photo albums full of happy memories, these things did not exist. Sadness, loss, grief, shame, I have plenty. Glorious. Oh, how it could have been, how it should have been … Instead, nightmares, silence, fear, betrayal, loneliness,... Continue Reading →
After decades of disassociation from the effects of my childhood abuse, I started having flashbacks. That was nine months ago. At first, they were just images, memories that I saw but didn’t actually remember, then they became physical. I could feel them; sense them I talked about them a little with my therapist, I mentioned... Continue Reading →
Flashbacks. Unexpected, uninvited. They take over my mind, and my body. They touch the very core of my being, where emotion is so raw, and rob me of precious moments in the present. Images flash in my mind pulling me back in time, my senses alert, I feel it all ... fear; shame; helplessness; how... Continue Reading →
It is amazing how silencing pain can be, how isolating shame and embarrassment can feel. The anxiety and uncomfortable vulnerability I feel as I share this is hard to articulate, but the more I share, the easier and more empowering it becomes. I realize I am taking back the control I once lost. As a... Continue Reading →
I have had a hard time lately sitting down to write. Even when I am not posting I try to journal, if I do not address all my emotions they come out one way or another whether it be tears, rage, or raging tears. But lately, I have not been able to find words for... Continue Reading →
A list of 14 positive affirmations to help trauma survivors who are struggling. Trauma affects all in individual ways, sometime we need positive reminders.
As a survivor of sexual abuse as a child, I am working hard to recognize and undo a lot of negative connotations about myself. One of the hardest, “I am not good enough”. I spent my whole childhood feeling like a burden to the family that was supposed to love me. I was raised by... Continue Reading →
I fight my emotions, a lot. All the emotions that are bottled up inside. When they get intense I get hung up on the fact that I actually feel them rather than allowing myself to process and deal with what has caused them to begin with. It has been my biggest struggle in therapy, feeling my... Continue Reading →